MPs who flaunt their, er, agendas

BY JOAN FUN and ALYS HELLROTTER  for THE FAILY MALE

Men’s Rights activists may howl, but there’s always a reason gentlemen of the House parade their bulges. When George Osborne slipped into his slinky blue suit on Wednesday morning, he knew exactly the effect his outfit would have.
For while Right-wing meninists have been wringing their hands over the attention paid to his eye-catching crotch, you can bet that the 44-year-old Chancellor of the Exchequer is not complaining.
Mr Osborne – like many men MPs on both benches – knows rolling a shirt-sleeve up or moving a trouser size down can be a powerful political tool. 

When George Osborne slipped into his slinky blue suit on Wednesday morning, he knew exactly the effect his outfit would have, writes AUTHOR NAME

When George Osborne slipped into his slinky blue suit on Wednesday morning, he knew exactly the effect his outfit would have, write JOAN FUN and ALYS HELLROTTER

The Chancellor of the Exchequer, increasingly overlooked in the Tory leadership race between London Mayor Boris Johnson and Theresa May, reminded everyone that he was still a major player.
And, as you can see from these pictures, flashing the flesh is always strategic: distracting from the scandals, securing coveted political jobs and sending a powerful message…


BORIS JOHNSON, MAYOR OF LONDON

As Boris Johnson delivered his acceptance speech after being elected Mayor of London in May 2008, the tight grey suit outlining his voluptuous figure gave a powerful message: that he could do the job better than ageing crone Ken Livingstone.
Boris, now 51, who was usually known for his foppish haircut and thick ankles, is still Mayor and using his bulging package to make headlines.

Boris Johnson (pictured) showcases his crotch as he takes a helicopter flight over Hong Kong

Boris Johnson (pictured) showcases his crotch as he takes a helicopter flight over Hong Kong

 


JEREMY HUNT, SECRETARY FOR HEALTH

Former management consultant Jeremy Hunt, now 49, speaking in July 2015 in the Commons in favour of NHS reforms – which proposed the contentious changes to junior doctors’ pay and conditions – disarmed some of his female critics on the Labour benches with his ankle-flashing trousers.
Tory Hunt, a doughty Commons performer, was once the Culture Secretary – but was soon appointed to Health Secretary.

jeremy hunt

Former management consultant, now 49, speaking to the Guardian in 2010

 


TRISTRAM HUNT, MP FOR STOKE-ON-TRENT CENTRAL

In May 2015 following Labour’s crushing election defeat leading Blairites turned on Ed Milliband and the Labour left.
Cue the usually modest Tristram Hunt, part of the 2010 intake considered one of the party’s more intellectual males, and his tousled sexy bed hair – which totally overshadowed the row.

Tristram Hunt (pictured), now 41, reveals a daring amount of forearm

Tristram Hunt (pictured), now 41, flashes his neck and reveals a daring amount of forearm

 


 

ED MILIBAND, FORMER LABOUR PARTY LEADER

Until he posed in a light blue shirt for New Statesman in 2012, Labour MP Ed Miliband, now 46, was barely known outside his own front door. But showing off his toned forearms and slender frame raised his profile and, the next summer, he remained only the second man MP to have led the Labour Party since the beginning of 2010.
Promoted to leader of the Labour Party in September 2010, he was one of the most senior men in Shadow Government.

Until he posed in a light blue shirt for New Statesman in 2012, Labour MP Ed Miliband (pictured), now 46, was barely known outside his own front door.

 

 


GEORGE GALLOWAY, MP FOR BRADFORD WEST

In trouble with fellow MPs for entering Celebrity Big Brother in 2006, Labour-turned-Respect MP George Galloway thrusts his leotard-clad chest forward in a defiant pose in the Big Brother house. Galloway claimed he communicated with more people via his TV appearance than he could in the Houses of Parliament – and, at the 2012 byelection, his majority soared to 10,140 in his Bradford West constituency.

MP George Galloway (pictured), thrusts his leotard-clad chest forward in a defiant pose in the Big Brother house in 2006

MP George Galloway (pictured), thrusts his leotard-clad chest forward in a defiant pose in the Big Brother house in 2006

 


IAIN DUNCAN-SMITH, FORMER SECRETARY  OF STATE FOR WORK AND PENSIONS

However, the male members of the House don’t always get it right, this week Iain Duncan Smith, 56, handed in his resignation following a sudden bout of conscience. Smith, known best for his signature move the smouldering finger-point, explained that his concerns about welfare cuts hadn’t been listened to.
Perhaps he could take some lessons from his colleagues, focus less on the sexy finger pointing, more on the policies, and try a softer neckline to be taken seriously.

Iain Duncan-Smith (pictured), 56, demonstrates his signature move, the smouldering finger-point

Iain Duncan-Smith (pictured), 56, demonstrates his signature move, the smouldering finger-point

 

Hang on in there, Iain… and don’t forget to “lean in”.

GRRRRR!!

GRRRRR!!

 

 

 



'MPs who flaunt their, er, agendas' have 2 comments

  1. 20th March 2016 @ 3:44 pm Mathew Edwards

    Thank you for the take down of some of the trouser adorning male members recently. However, as a previous candidate for the local District Coucil (not elected), I really must complain that the Greens were under-represented (oh spit! There are no male green members and the only er…well…female one dresses with her mind focussed on work and the matters on which she represents her constituents so I’ll move on to my next complaint). You see I also find that I take offence at the use of the word voluptuous when describing London’s Mayor which I find distasteful with its lustful overtones and would much prefer a word such as ‘ample’ or ‘full’ in front of the word ‘figured’; a sentiment which I am sure you will not fail to misinterpret the next time you articulate your impressions to your suspecting readers.
    Looking forward to the next session of Parliamentary phallus-see or men stepping out gaily flaunting it all in the Commons
    Sincerely
    Devolved of Buckinghamshire

    Reply

  2. 20th March 2016 @ 6:56 pm Tom Roberts

    Ever wondered why MPs wear ties? It’s simple they need the reassurance that comes with having something pointing at their penis at all times. I’ve been told in fact that the garishness of the tie, the size of the knot and the length are all used by male MPs as part of a mating display, much like that of a peacock. When a male MP spots an attractive female MP he will flair his ties and maybe even put on a second! Just to be sure she sees his crotch at all times. It’s believed that such displays are designed to make them look bigger and more imposing.
    In fact this obsession with the state of ties is famous throughout regions with large populations of MPs. One MP, the somewhat lizard like specimen Mr D Cameron, could even be heard shouting at another, grumpy grandfather, J Corbyn to “do his up!” Amongst MPs such a gesture is seen as a sign of ultimate contempt and it is believed this gesture is what caused J Corbyn to smash D Cameron’s government. We assume. We do not know a whole lot about the strange territorial behaviours of these otherworldly creatures.

    Reply


Would you like to share your thoughts?

Your email address will not be published.

Design by Frampton Creative / Content by No More Page 3 Sexist News Team

%d bloggers like this: